I am a man.
He’s one and a bit… (for “those” people, he will be 14 months on the 12th…i just say one and a bit)
Right now, the most important things in his world are as follows (not necessarily in order of priority);
- a bawbaw (rough translation, GIVE ME LIQUID!)
- veggie tales
- poop to not be on or around his bum
- dry under parts
- the cow
- his mouth not to hurt
And some times, on rare days… Dahdeee.
I have days when I don’t get to see him awake very much. Like 30 minutes in the morning, then nothing till the next day. Between Thursday morning and Saturday morning, I maybe get 45 minutes of awake Ti.
As you can imagine, being out of the house for 3 evenings a week minimum and rarely seeing him during the day, means I am not the go to guy when my little guy needs some affection/attention.
As a new dad, this kills me.
We live in a world where the role of fathers is as important as ever. We live in a world of fatherless sons.
My choice of careers, well my calling, has been to help with that. To, in a small way, give kids who don’t have the role model they need, someone to fill that void.
What is painful about that, is I wonder will I be able to give that to MY son. Or will he be the kid who has a “dad” but no one “Fathering” him.
I run a small youth organization, coach football, own a business, am on some committees and generally find most of my time occupied.
Father, husband, Awesome Man, those should be the things that lead off that list. Yet so often I find that my time is being filled with being more to others, than I am to my family.
Here is where you normally read how that isn’t true. So many people use spaces like this, to tell you how that have not fallen into that trap.
I suck at it. I really do. My lack of attention span means whatever is in front of me, becomes my focus. Which means under pressure I can get lots done. However, when not under pressure, nothing gets done. Which means I am under pressure lots!
Prime example. I forgot my wife’s first mothers day.
Oh, I know.
Yep. I am!
I did better this year, and will have to do better every year until Ti can start making her breakfast in bed. (here is your raisin peanut butter and oregano pancakes mommy!)
So if you know me… I want you to help me. I need more people to be better dads to their sons… and to other peoples sons… but never the second at the expense of the first! I will try, but hold me accountable