still old stuff being moved

from march 2006

You Asked

Here I sit, pondering a question… not for me, but for the 8 people who have asked me this question over the last 3 months. “Jimmy, I don’t feel like I fit in…” “Jimmy, I don’t know what I am supposed to do with my life” “Jim, man, I just don’t know what God has laid out for me.”If you look over the track record of my life, I am not the person you should be coming to for the answer to this question… cause those of you who know me, know that my life was never one of fitting in… don’t get me wrong, I tried, but I would say there were few instances where things just “felt right”.So why is it that people everwhere I go are now asking me this question?The answer was as surprising to me, as it would be to my mother… five months ago, I kind of figured it out… The answers to all of those fitting in, belonging and calling issues, lie in one place. The problem is, it is not a “safe place” (more on that later), it is not a comfortable place to get to, and it requires more energy and self-examination that most are prepared to give.That place, of belonging, of fitting in, of calling, is the arms and will of God.And now I have dissapointed all of you…”Come on Jim, That is what I don’t know… if I knew what Gods will was, i wouldn’t be feeling this way, I would just do that and I would be fufilled…”So they had the answer all along, yet they asked me…You are wondering how I figured it out, my deep spiritual answer is… I have no clue.It all started when I shut the flip up! No, no , no, not like that… i still deal with constanst bouts of diarreah of the mouth, but I came to the conclusion that if i really, truely wanted to hear God’s call, i had to shut my mouth…God wants you to know what he has in store for you… he really truley does, we just don’t often give him the opportunity to tell us. I learned that sometimes the most valuable times spent in prayer, are the times when you dont say a word. The all powerfull, always present creator of all things, Wants desperately for you to hear what he has to say. But God is a jealous God, and he does not want to, and most of the time, will not fight for “air time”. We spend so much time asking (not that it is bad to ask) and begging and telling God what we want, that when it is his time to respond, we have shut him off and are on to our next task. Then we spend time moaning and complaining that we feel distant from God and that it just feels like he doesn’t even hear us. But we don’t take the time to “be still, and know that he is God” Sometimes God has to resort to waking us up in the night… of course then we pray and ask him to help quiet our minds so that we can sleep!! But for most of us, that is the only time that God can get out attention. And still we shut him out.
Then there is the other situation… we hear what God has to say… and it doesn’t fit into OUR idea of what we want God to have in store for us. As I look throughout the bible, I have yet to find God calling someone to an easy task… or one that he will not bless them through. In fact the more unbelievable and borderline obsurd the task, the more fantastic the reward… for some it was rebuil my temple, and for another it was marry a whore. both were blessed, both had their hearts almost ripped out. both gave US (selfish jerks we are, always wanting other to have the terrible experiences to learn from) fantastic views into our great God, and his plan for us… now i am not saying go build a monolithic building, or find the nearest crack whore and marry her (unless you are sure God is telling you too) what i am saying is DO. stop overanalyzing and humming and haaaaa ing God out of his plan for your life… when you hear/sense/feel/read, Gods Voice, RESPOND YES LORD what would you have your servant do, and then DO.
or maybe i am just full of it…


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