Feb 2005

I am a technomoron so I have no idea how to shift stuff from my old blog to this new one… so this is my cut and pasting of that old content… incase you care!

From Feb 2005

Been thinking a lot about death this week… not about mine or anything like that… just about way we react to it.
Monday my Grandma died. She was a pretty cool lady, forgiving and non-judgmental. She wasn’t really sick, i guess it was just her time. I’m not sad though. I would love to say it is because i have total assurance that i will see her again in heaven, but i think it goes deeper than that. I cant feel sad when someone dies who has lived a life that was so full. I get the feeling that she never had any “boy i wish i had of…”‘s in her life. So if anything i guess i am envious. healthy, spouse who adored her, security in a God who loves her, family devoted to her, and a ton of those little “extras” that seem to have made her a person everyone was glad to know. what a way to be remembered! She was one of those “have another cookie, stay a little longer, there is pie in the fridge” kind of Grandma’s that they show in movies or tv shows, the kind that no one thinks is real… but that is a great way to describe her, Grandma Lil was REAL…some verses that describe her, Prov. 31:28-31 “her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: there are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpase them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declaire her praise”
That is not the only reason i have been thinking of death this week. I found out on thursday that a girl who sometimes comes to Nikao(the youth group i work with), attempted suicide on saturday night. The group i was with had a pretty frank discussion regarding suicide! I have never understood taking your own life. I don’t know that level of dispair i guess. I am not always a positive guy (who am i kidding, i am rarely a positive guy) but that has never seemed like the best way out for me. I have been praying recently that God will help me to be able to understand that mind set, but every book or article that i read on hopelessness, shows me more and more the grace of God. I guess that just makes it clear that i don’t have the gift of mercy!
well i think that is the end of my first real post… we will see how often i add to it. but there my be some real “news” on here in march regarding my future (not that you really care)
Later

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